Yeah, it’s been a while. I’m not even sure what I want to write about now. I just feel like I want to get back into this. 🙂 So, I’ll just dive right in with what’s on my mind. I’ll be the first to say that my blogs haven’t exactly been optimistic or exactly encouraging…or like at all anything shiny and positive whatsoever. It’s a little contradictory to the name and title of this blog: “Abundant Infinity: Dream Big.” Yeah. So. About that.
Dreaming big used to be my thing, I guess. As I grew up though, I came to see my ‘anything is possible’ mindset as more of an innate naivety. To me this was a hindrance rather than an asset to my future. So I set out to not be naive. That didn’t end well for me, but what I learned from the experience has helped me look at life in an entirely different way: neither naively, nor rationally.
My faith is something that is just always going to be a part of my life…thankfully. So, I can’t help but mention it here. In the Bible, John 10:10, Jesus tells us that He came so that we could have life, and not only that, but life abundantly. With this in mind, regardless of circumstances, why should any of us refuse to dream? And dream big at that? We all have a story and if you are to assume anything about mine just because I say big dreams should be made, then I would have to assume something about yours as well. So let’s just agree to disagree, if you disagree.
I know there isn’t a whole lot to this written word, but it’s just some thoughts. In other news, I have finalllllly graduated with a bachelor of science in business, accounting emphasis. What got me through was the realization that accomplishing the goal of this degree was important to me and it was important that it was important to me. And that is what had to give. I had to let myself and my dreams be a priority. I had to give myself grace by acknowledging that even though I screwed up, I wasn’t a worthless cause.
Speaking of grace, boy, has it been a journey to even glimpse an understanding of that word. God has really been working on me and bringing me to it though! I joined a Bible study that I have gone to every now and then and it has just been exactly, perfectly, what I needed. I am not even sure of all the the steps and things that lead me to this place where I can finally feel the Holy Spirit again, but I’m definitely here, with hope. I might write more about this journey back to peace later.
Let’s see what else? …..I have not been able to find a job in line with my degree. Shocker there. Yawwwwn….Hmmm…I am going to take more time to discover what my big dreams were before other people’s views of reality nudged them out of my mind’s eye. And I’m thinking maybe I was meant to be something other than an accountant. I’m searching for my passions, which I will hopefully reignite and make something of. It will take bravery to try, but I think I’ll do it. We’ll see what the future holds.