My nail polish is grey and green and purple all at the same time. Its iridescence is paradoxical. I know that if I researched its ingredients and process of creation I would discover why it is the way it is. I may even understand how. But I don’t give two shits about how nail polish … Continue reading Iridescence
The male sex is irrevocably entwined in my life. I've had a father, brothers, grandpas, nephews, friends (more like acquaintances), and crushes. Few of these male figures were close enough to be considered a part of my life, and fewer still actually touched it. As I reflect on my life and the current state of … Continue reading It matters. It shapes you.
"And they say She's in the Class A Team Stuck in her daydream Been this way since eighteen But lately her face seems Slowly sinking, wasting Crumbling like pastries And they scream The worst things in life come free to us" -from Ed Sheeran's song "The A Team" My entire life I've been afraid of … Continue reading Crumbling Like Pastries
There are certainly bigger problems in the world and there is certainly greater injustice... I have found the perfect summation of my relative bitterness: it is unfair that I, and others like me, have to work so much harder than the rest...to be loved. The innate desire for companionship that we all share … Continue reading I’m sure
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhasSpSBdEE Through all of my ups and downs these last few years...there was never a moment where God wasn't considered. When I triumphed it was because of Him, when I dove into the staggering depths of evil it was Him I was held accountable to. Trying to ignore Him is ignorance at it's worse. … Continue reading “Ever Be”
A thought keeps occurring to me lately. It's a memory, really. I guess it's also a longing. There I am, upside down under the water. My vision is blurred by the molecules of water and the sun is skewed by the waves. I'm alone, the pool is mine for the moment. My brothers have … Continue reading Imagery
At times I so badly want to blame others for my current state of being. I want to go back a few years and tell them all the ways they handled the situation wrong, all the intricate ways they shattered my heart and what was left of my sense of self. I struggle between complete … Continue reading in the beginning
I can't get over this song. Growing up isn't easy. We all know the usual things like paying bills and learning to take responsibility. I think we all have a lot more in common than that though. Some soul issues. So, let's start again. Growing up isn't easy. No one told us that one day … Continue reading Wandering
To be human, or not to be human? That is the question. But do any of us really have a choice? I had a couple of semi-interesting conversations with a some friends this week. I say semi-interesting because they were at the very least interesting to me, maybe to them, and I have no idea how … Continue reading Penance (noun): 1. voluntary self-punishment inflicted as an outward expression of repentance for having done wrong. 2. doesn’t matter because I’m not Catholic and it’s not the idea I hope to express in this blog entry.
"Wherever there is any element of pride or of conceit, Jesus cannot expound a thing. He will take us through the disappointment of a wounded pride of intellect, through disappointment of heart. He will reveal inordinate affections--things over which we never thought He would have to get us alone. We listen to many things in … Continue reading Devotions